Ok, so today... I got my heart broken. I was asked to chaperone Ethan's Beta Club field trip to Holiday World next week. I told the Beta Club sponsor I would go home and find a sitter for the little ones and let him know for sure tomorrow.
I figured out how to make it work with Jaden and Ava, even though it is going to be a 13 hour day... (leaving at 7:30 am and returning at 8:30 pm) So I decided to say yes, and thought it would probably turn out to be a really fun day.
On a whim, I thought I better clear it with Ethan. Just to make sure he was ok with me being there, feeling certain he would say "sure mom, that would be awesome." Quite the contrary. Instead I got a deep sigh and the words "gosh mom, you're putting me in a tough position.... I really don't want to hurt your feelings but.......
Ouch! Dagger to the chest. I smiled though, and said, "gee Ethan, I didn't mean to put you in bad position. I didn't think it would be a big deal." His response..."I just really kinda would rather go by myself."
Double ouch! This is my baby... My firstborn... the one I have the special bond with.... The one that still hugs and kisses me in front of everyone... including his friends! I am the cool mom... not the mom to be embarrassed to have along. OMG. It will take me awhile to recover from this one.
Just when I think I have a handle on this whole growing up thing...I get thrown a curve ball. This one came out of nowhere. I guess maybe somewhere deep down I knew this day would come. Sometimes I operate in denial mode, cause its easier to deal.
This was a breakaway moment between us. I hope I recover before the next one comes along.
2 comments:
Boy do I know JUST how you feel. The exact same thing happened to me last year. It was the first trip Rachel didn't beg me to go on. Mr Macy asked, and I said sure let me check my calendar and I will let you know. Rachel tried hard not to hurt my feelings, but of course she did. I tried hard not to look hurt and say "it's ok I'll get to spend the day doing something fun with Nicole". But, Rachel had never...not wanted me to go before. It was hard and I still feel sad thinking about it. I knew it was just the begining and they do need to grow up. But, part of me wishes they could still be my LITTLE girls. Being a mom is really hard sometimes. Thanks for sharing your story. Sometimes Rachel still catches me off guard and hugs me in public, or chooses to spend her lunch time with me...I am very thankful for those times now.
I hear ya girl!! I told you I will have "ENS" BADLY!!!! I got so depressed when I thought that Aimee will be a junior...a junior!! and Cole in the 8th grade...Oh my!! I hate it, but I guess it is part of it huh?? UGH!! What is funny is the first thing I worte on my blog today is -Parenting is HARD!! lol Hang in there!!
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