Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Better late than never...

February 4th...which seems like only yesterday even though it was over two weeks ago...Austin turned 16...the big 1-6...SIXTEEN. I say it over and over to myself but it still doesn't seem possible. I don't know where the time goes. I only know that the older I get the faster it goes by.

I had to work 12 hours on his actual birthday so we celebrated the day before and the day after. As usual, per Austin's style, it was a low key event. Date with the gf and a dinner with all his favorites. Doesn't take much to make that boy happy.

I think this is probably the third or fourth birthday post I have written for him since I started blogging a few years ago. Each time I sit down to write it my mind goes back to that place in time. Austin was...well let's just call it like it is... a surprise. :) I remember vividly strapping Ethan into his carseat the day before his first birthday and driving to walmart in the rain. I made just one purchase that day. A pregnancy test.

All the way home I wondered what if... I had one in diapers, how could I handle another? How would Ethan react to no longer being the baby and the center of our world? We were at a big transition point in our lives. Building a house, new jobs, moving, etc... How could another child possibly enter the picture at this point?

I remember placing that test on the bathroom sink and walking to the kitchen to set the timer. I held Ethan on my hip and paced back and forth alone through the house. Half hoping, half dreading. It was possibly the longest three minutes of my life.

Before I even got all the way through the bathroom door I could see the big red plus sign. I fell to my knees and held on to Ethan and cried tears of joy. Even in the uncertainty of the times I wanted him at that moment more than I could have ever imagined.

Seven months later and 5 weeks ahead of schedule, I remember the 12 below zero weather, the ridiculously long labor, and the words "he's all yours," that the doctor said to me as she placed him in my arms for the first time.

That tiny little 7 pound orange-headed surprise is now an almost 6 foot orange-headed wonder. He amazes me with his many talents, his awesome sense of humor, his sensitivity, his empathy, his intellegence, and his pure-heartedness. He has grown into a person of great faith and conviction and I love that about him.

When I finally did get home from work on his actual birthday, we all watched videos of his first couple of years. He and Ethan laughed and laughed at the way they interacted with eachother. It made me so thankful to see that the bond they have shared from the day Austin came home has grown that much stronger over the years. They truly love, take care of and watch out for eachother. What more could a mother ask for.

God knows what He is doing. Our "surprise" was all part of His perfect plan. Happy 16th Bub. You are one of a kind and I love you. :)