Forgive AND Forget...

To forgive is defined as being able to "give up resentment of, or cease to feel resentment against..." To forget means "to lose the rememberance of..." Sounds simple enough,.... right?...um... not necessarily.

I have struggled throughout my life to find forgiveness. Not only the ability to forgive others, but also the ability to forgive myself. Throughout my life, there have been times I have been betrayed, ridiculed, lied to, deceived, cheated, humiliated, and let down in ways both big and small. I have also at times been the betrayer, the one who ridicules, the liar, the deceiver, the cheater, the humiliator and have let others down in ways I can only imagine. I believe this is true for all of us. None of us are perfect. As my Christy always says..."there was only one perfect person who ever walked this earth"... and friends, I am not Him and neither are you. We all fail. And we ALL feel the hurt when others fail us... and that hurt can be absolutely brutal when it comes at the hands of someone we love.

As I have gotten older... and ahem... wiser...I have found the ability to forgive comes much, much easier. Learning to understand my own faults, makes it easier for me to understand the faults of others. Remember though, I am the "finding myself at 40" girl... for other people, the ability to truly and easily forgive may come much earlier in life.... for others later... and for some poor souls it never comes.

Forgetting.... well that is a whole other story. Being cursed with a mind like a steel trap and the tendency to over-analyze almost everything, I replay the bad events in my life over and over in my head like a broken record. I have self diagnosed my self with both post-traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic hurt disorder. The stress coming from things I myself have done... and the hurt coming from things that have been done to me. There have been times in my life the memories have been maddening. But... I have learned to recognize that when those thoughts and memories come, they come from the devil himself. He manipulates himself into your head and delights in your torture over the past. It makes his world go round. And I have learned that when he sticks his toe in the door and tries to weasel his way in... I CAN keep him out. It is as simple as picking up my bible or turning on the tv or calling a friend or losing myself in a simple task... anything at all to distract myself from his attempts to trip me up.

Jesus died on the cross for your sins and mine so we CAN be and ARE forgiven. When we are forgiven by the almighty our sin is gone from His mind. He is a forgiving AND forgeting God. He forgives completely, so there is no need to confess our past sins repeatedly. As believers, we can be confident that the sins we confess and renounce are forgiven and forgotten. That's pretty huge. If we love someone the way Christ loves us, we will be willing to forgive. We must recognize those who sin against us, forgive them, and love them in spite of their sin - Just as Christ did for us! In Matthew 6:14-15 the lord himself proclaims... (I am quoting our Lord here so pay attention)... "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." That's pretty straight forward.

If you are struggling to forgive yourself or others who have hurt you, get on your knees and pray for God's help in doing so. It may not be easy, but you can forgive, you must forgive... and when you let go and let God, you will find peace for the situation that only he can provide....

My girls and I have been praying John 14:27 over our anonymous commentor from yesterday. We will continue to do so. But I also leave you with this... Our Lord will never fail you or forsake you (Hebrews 5) He will never "overlook" you.

As a final thought... In John 14:27, our Lord tells YOU "I am leaving you with a gift - peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid."

Hope this helps

Matthew 19:21-22 "...Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? NO! the Lord replies, Seventy times seven!"