I got a phone call yesterday... my dear friend Judy has passed away. She was 46.
We have been close friends for the past ten years, ever since we were both hired at the school at the same time. She is one of those friends that no matter how long you go between talking, as soon as you see eachother it is like you were never apart. She was with me through my dark depression years, and helped to get me through some very rough times. She was also going through some difficult things back then. I can remember sitting in her office on more than one occasion and both of us just crying. We shared so much.
I am having a hard time figuring out how to deal with it. I have never lost a close friend before. The last time I saw her was a couple of months ago after the sudden accidental death of her brother. She just kept saying how surreal it was. I feel the same today.
She has one daughter. They were extremely close.
I can't find peace with it. I am anxious for the funeral so I can see her face. I know that sounds a little morbid, but I don't think it will become real to me until that moment. I can't start to process it until then. Right now I am just kind of numb.
I always look forward to the start of school because I go straight to see her every year. I think of all the kids out there who also depended on her and it feels so terribly unfair. All I can be is thankful that it was so sudden and that she did not suffer.
None of us are guaranteed our next heartbeat. There is only One who knows the number of our days. It is so, so, so important that we be ready when our time comes and that we make certain those we love are ready also. Although we had both talked about our faith years ago, I can't be certain she was ready. I have hope in my heart that she was... If I could only talk to her one more time....
She loved Fleetwood Mac... and this song was one of her favorites. I can see her singing it in my mind.
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