Catching up...

I love being caught up don't you. Caught up with the laundry. Caught up on the housework. Caught up in a moment... Getting caught up with old friends, especially ones you haven't seen or heard from in years... can't beat it.

I haven't blogged much lately as you may have noticed. Do you even need to ask why? I simply cannot get caught up with the chaos that is my life. In fact, it is physically impossible for me to get caught up at this point in time. Way to much going on. Take the usual stuff that you poor readers get to hear me vent about and add back to school, a kid with mono, a kid with a bad cold, and a kid with endless soccer games, and a kid with an upcoming birthday... coupled with preparing to work an Emmaus Walk and trying to keep my head above water business wise. Man... I am SO not ever gonna get caught up. SO, I am going to quit trying and just go with the flow.

Here are a few "catch up" facts for new readers who are interested in the where abouts of the family...and for those readers who maybe had lost track...

Mom moved to Indy six years ago next month, the same month that Jaden was born. That was a bummer...BUT Greg was working up there so it pretty much had to happen. She lives in the Castleton area. I get up there with the kids usually in March for spring break and October for fall break. A getaway for the kids and I get to shop by myself! She, on the other hand, comes down here every other week... gotta see her babies. I am so thankful for that.

Dad is still in Jasper. He and Julie are still operating Pieper-Burns State Farm after 23 years. Dad is still Dad...he never changes. My baby brother Evan will be 22 in November and is a Senior at IU this year. He is one amazing kid.

Kent is up in Carmel. Village of West Clay, to be exact. Super successful of course. Check him out at www.kentburnsonline.com. Haley is up around IUPUI, Max is a senior and Abby is in the second grade. I don't get to see him near as often as I would like, usually 5 times a year or so, but we do text eachother about every other day.

Grandma Burns is 93 and going strong! Still lives alone, still cruises Jasper, and can often be found hanging out at walmart. Isn't that wild.

As for me...there are plenty of posts on this blog to give you the lowdown... 151 to be exact. One night I couldn't sleep and read them all. Got "caught up" on the past year or so. Amazing what you forget in a year's time.

Playing catch up bites... but getting caught up is awesome. I highly recommend it.

First Day...

It's done... It was just as bad as I had feared... worse actually.

I was weepy on the drive there, but under control. We pulled into the parking lot and all piled out of the van. My big boys both hugged me and kissed me and man that's all it took. Bring on the waterworks. They walked away and I couldn't watch.

I managed to gain control by the time I got into the building with Jaden. We hung up his things and went to his seat. There was a picture there for him to color. He sat down and I sat down in his seat with him and he began coloring.

I tried to think of everything I needed to tell him, even though I have tried my best for the last almost 6 years to teach him everything he needs to know. I reminded him to raise his hand in the cafeteria if he has trouble getting things open in his lunch. I'm worried about that. I told him over and over and over that I loved him and he was going to have a great day.

I tried so hard to choke it back, but I failed. I sat there in that tiny seat and hugged him and cried....and I didn't care.

I cried all the way to the van and then had the big ugly cry for the next half hour or so. As I type this I am holding my baby girl who wants to know where Jaden is and how long till he gets home. Gonna be a long day.

Point of no return...

It's almost 8:00. I happen to have few minutes of peace and quiet, on this, the eve of the day I have dreaded for the last year.

In a few minutes, they will all pile in the back door from their various practices and activites. I will head them all to the bathtub and showers. We will pick out clothes and get backpacks and supplies in order. I will look at my big boys and see each one as the tiny boys that I knew long ago, even though now I have to look up at both of them. I will look at my J and wonder where the last five years went. Seems like I was carrying him on my hip only yesterday. And I will look at my precious baby girl and thank god he gave me one more to hold onto a little while longer.

I am choking back tears already my friends. Typing this through cloudy vision. I know they all grow up but man, I tell ya, every year it gets a little harder to accept. Four short years is all I have left with Ethan. It will be over in a flash. I am also thinking of my dear friends who are sending their babies off to start their senior year and of friends who are sending their last baby and will come home to an empty house for the first time. My heart breaks for them too. Letting go stinks... But, despite these sad moments, that inevitably come, what joy surrounds me in this house. What a privledge and honor it is to be a mom to such wonderful kids. God gave me four gifts... and I am so thankful.

Women of Faith!

My girls and I returned home yesterday from our second annual Ya Ya trip to Women of Faith. If you have never been, you are truly missing out. 12,000 women in one arena all coming together in Christ to share and laugh and cry and rejoice. The speakers were outstanding as usual. Stephen Curtis Chapman literally took our breath away and left us speechless on Friday night. (He is my fave, in case I never mentioned it :) Mandisa, and Lisa Welchel (Facts of Life) and Patsy Clairmont, and Marilyn Meeburg, and all the others were equally as inspiring. Everyone has a story my friends, and none of us are alone.

I forgot my camera! But here is a pic we had taken while there.


My favorite Farhar and My favorite Fields (Christy's sister Andi)

Shirley and Tami...love those crazy gals

Me and my precious pals Susan and Annette

Life lessons...

I was told it was time for a blog... didn't realize it had been so long. I continue to be amazed at how fast time is passing. The busier I am, the faster it goes. The older I get, the bigger the blur. Not fair.

The dreaded day is fast approaching. I have begun the enforcement of my annual self-imposed back to school boycott. I will stand firm and refuse to buy anything school related... I will let the scheduled days for book rental come and go without stepping foot in the door of the school... I will refuse to talk about the impending doom that is to come at 8:10 on Friday August 14th. On that note... I am changing the subject :)

I am working really hard this summer on loosening the apron strings as far as my older boys are concerned. They are, after all, 13 1/2 and 15. They both have level heads and make wise decisions. It's time they branched out a bit, right?? Last night as they, along with six other boys swam in the pool, some of them were making plans to go four wheeling at a place in Jackson County. Two of the boys ever so cautiously approached Aaron and I and asked if our boys could go. I almost laughed out loud.

It is no secret to me that we are known as the "strict" parents, and some of these boys think we are downright mean for not letting our kids do what other kids do. I am SO fine with that, you wouldn't believe it... BUT this time I felt it was ok to say yes and felt that they deserved to get to go. I think my boys were in shock.

So, after lecturing them till there ears bled...they loaded up this morning and off they went. Dirtbikes, four wheelers, coolers...eight people in all. Amazingly, and prayerfully, I felt calm and at peace with my decision as they pulled out of the drive.

Fast forward a short couple of hours and I get a text telling me one of the boys had had a bad wreck and was not wearing a helmet! In the middle of nowhere they had to run up and down hills to find service to call 911 and wait 20 minutes or so for an ambulance to get to them, all the while trying to keep this boy from moving, watching his face bleed and swell before their eyes.

Verdict was a concussion, broken shoulder, broken wrist, torn up face but no broken facial bones. Amazing it wasn't worse. All the kids were pretty shook up by the incident, but man what a lesson they all learned.

I initially beat myself up for letting my boys go in the first place... what if this had been one of them... how would I live with that knowing I put them in that position in the first place. It was then God whispered in my ear...

Your boys are growing up. Your relationship is naturally transforming. You are not always going to be there to protect them... but I will. Trust that you have raised them to this point to the best of your ability and know that they both have a stong relationship with Me and are stong in their faith. Even when your eyes are not on them... My eyes are. Even when your voice is not in their ear telling them to be careful...My voice is. And even though they are no longer totally dependent on You, they both understand that they are dependent on Me. Even though you have to start to let go... I never will...

My boys are growing up... I am ever so slowly letting go... and I am at peace....

Celebrity Guest Blogger....

Got this from my mom earlier in the week. Thought it would make a great post...

Hope...

Hope you are okay,
hope you had a good night,
hope you don't have too much work today,
hope Ava is even better,
hope your heart is calming down,
hope you are happy in the midst of your busy life,
hope you will take care of yourself and your family first,
hope you are talking to your Father in heaven everyday many times,
hope your business will take a real break soon,
hope you know your brother still says you're a queer,
hope you know what a great person you are,
hope you know how loved you are,
hope you know how proud I am of you,
hope you know I love you just as much as you love those precious kids of yours!!!

Is my mom the greatest or what??!!

Thinking Thursday...

K... Got 5 minutes here.... just took Ethan to band camp....kids still in bed...here are some random thoughts running through my mind this mornin.

I think it is absolutely INSANE that it is July already...what happened to May and June?

I think I will never, ever, ever take another vacation in June in the midst of all-stars and catfish... the aftermath is literally killing me.

I think I may or may not be geared up for the fest...if I could quit working long enough maybe I could decide.

I think it is awesome that our boys Babe Ruth team is #1 in their division...and the tourney win at Bloomfield was SWEET!

I think it is my own fault that I am back on the heart monitor...no down time/too much stress = an unhappy ticker.

I think Susan is THE best massage therapist in the world (for sure the county :)...and she makes house calls! (still feelin great susie q)

I think I am FIRED UP my mom comes today AND is gettin to spend the night...and that Greg is well enough to spend one night on his own.

I think I miss my brothers somethin' fierce...thanks for the call last night Ev, hope you make it down tonight.

I think the fact that my first born can operate a motor vehicle leagally is freakin me out...man I am gettin old.

I think I got WAY to much to accomplish today...better get busy.

"You can rest...you will find rest...Let this old life crumble, let it fade. Let this new life offer be your saving grace....let this old life crumble...let it fade"