TIME...

Time to get back to the blogging world. This morning I re-read my posts from the first year I started writing and was amazed and what all I had forgotten. Time will do that to a person.

Today I have spent too much time on the new background to say much. Blogspot has made some big changes since the last time I logged on. I'm not crazy about change but I will figure it out as I go.

I just realized that time is one of those words that looks really weird after you type it and look at it for awhile. :)

I have nothing inspiring to say today. Just getting back into the swing of writing. May take some time.

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

In this particular season of my life, as I quickly approach the big 4-5, (the time that I was born), I know that this is my time to harvest and to heal. My time to build up, to laugh and to dance. It is my time to embrace and to quit searching. My time to mend and to be quiet. My time for love and my time for peace.

Reminders...

I have been reminded of many things and taught some things over the course of the last few weeks with Ava... I am writing them down so I can always remember the good that God brings from the bad...

I was reminded that Jesus likes to show up and show off and I LOVE that about Him!!

My daughter taught me that she is even more amazing than I already thought she was and I love her even more than I knew I could.

I learned that no matter how old you are, you never outgrow the feeling you get when your mom sits and rubs your feet. It is a feeling of peace and comfort that is hard to describe.

Janet Douglas taught me that Ava's name means "fullness of life" and "fullness of joy".. and man is she ever full of both!

I was reminded that there is nothing more powerful than the body of Christ coming together in prayer.

I learned that when Greg Davis walks into a room it fills me with hope.

Facebook taught me that the majority of those names on your friends list aren't just there for show... and regardless of when you talked to them last...when it counts they are there for you. Facebook just might be the best prayer chain ever.

I was reminded that it is possible to physically feel yourself being covered in prayer.

I learned that God tears down walls in the midst of storms.

I was reminded that when I can't find anymore strength... God finds it for me...and he has a never ending supply.

I was reminded of how wonderful it his to have Pat Johnson pray over us and our kids and feel the power in his words, and how much I miss hearing him preach every Sunday.

I've always known how much love my kids have for eachother, but I learned the true depth of it...and it blows me away. They are bonded beyond bonded. That warms my heart more than anything else in this world.

I was reminded that no matter how much I fail God He will never fail me.

I learned how to sum up exactly what I was feeling when Stephanie Powell told me "your ulitmate faith is tested with your children...when we realize we are not in control." That is so true. I tend to be a control freak, and I am so thankful that through experiences like this He reminds us that He is all over it, and we need not fear. All we need to do is let go and let God.

I learned that true strength can come in small packages... and a 34 pound five year old can be stronger than the biggest men I know.

Ava has a long road ahead, but this morning I am full of peace about it all.
Psalm 46... "God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear..."

Home sweet home...

I call this the torture device. Sits mockingly up on the wall and constantly reminds you how long your ordeal is lasting. I kidded Ethan and Austin that we had to get out of there before it hit 100 hours or the room might implode. Missed it by 5minutes :)

SO... most of labs much better...no fever for 24 hours...eating and drinking fairly well... so we are HOME! I can't tell you what a relief it is.

She has four labs still way off... ESR, CK, CRP, and PT/INR. The first three are related to inflammation and the last to blood clotting. That part of the puzzle is still a mystery. She will have those labs repeated in one week. Unless they are down considerably, we will assume some kind of autoimmune disease and probe further.

Unless the fever returns, we will see the doctor next week and go from there. The EE doc and allergy appointments will also be coming up soon. So thankful to be moving in a positive direction. We have known for a very long time things were not right with this little girl.

So once again... thank you all for your prayers and please continue to pray for us to find the all the help and answers we need to make her well. I will post progress as it happens.

Ava asked me to type this for her... "thanks for praying for me and helping me get better. I love you." <3

In Jasper...

Riley. So sick...

Coming around...

Ready to go home...

The latest...

Well the good news is we think we have the answer... the bad news is they "LOST" her blood from this morning... How in the heck to you "LOSE" someone's blood?? I had already promised her no more sticks today. But without that bloodwork we can't finalize it all.

If labs are trending towards normal, the official diagnosis for the acute issues will be severe Adenovirus. That would be responsible for the high fever and her being so so sick and labs being so crazy... They tell me it can take up to 2 yrs to shed the virus completely but it shouldn't affect her like this again and she won't be contagious.

It does not, however, explain her ongoing belly pain. They are still thinking that is from the Eosinophilic Esophagitis and possibly some other undiagnosed problems of that nature. The amazing thing is that one of the nations leading EE specialist is here at Riley and has offered to take her! He has a team that will deal with every facet of the disease.. allergy testing and all. He is going to schedule us with all of them the same day asap so we dont have to make separate trips. He has been so good to us through all this. He is the one that kept looking me in the eye and assuring me they would figure it all out. Just so happens he was here when she came in Friday. ;)

Sooo, IF if the labs are good...and IF the fever stays down.. and IF she is eating and drinking well...we will get to go home tomorrow! I know that is a lot of if's but we are remaining hopeful. This has been a horrible and absolutely terrifying ordeal but we are thankful for every single minute of it because it is getting her the help we have been searching for for over 2 years. I'm sure it was all part of the grand design...everything from the mis-read to that particular Dr. being here for her. Radiologist don't "mis-read" CT scans that badly everyday. Most definately happened for a reason.

There is a big red digital clock up on the wall behind her that started keeping time when we got here and will stop when we leave. Right now it reads 79 hours and 3 minutes. That's not even counting the 16 hours from when she was admitted to Jasper to when we got in the room here. So all totaled it has been about a 95 hour roller coaster ride for us and 95 hours of agony for her. We are so ready for this ride to be over.

Will keep you all updated as we find out more. Thanks to every single person who has prayed for her.. even if only for a minute. It made ALL the difference. Thanks in advance for continued prayers and please... keep praying us home. <3

This is about 5 minutes after the 2nd blood draw... absolutely did her in. :(

Ava...

For those who don't know... Ava has been fighting sickness for a month now...actually much longer than that. We hadn't been able to get a definitive diagnosis despite many trips to the doctor. Last Tuesday she was running yet another fever, but this time it didn't go away.

By Thursday I knew it was time to go back to the doctor. Did blood work and told us to come back Friday. By that time her temp was 104 and nothing was bringing it down so he admitted her at Jasper around 4 in the afternoon. They did several tests... one of them being a CT scan to check for appendicitis. The radiologist that read the report said that possibly there was a perforation in Ava's colon behind her liver and there may be free air and infection gathering there. Since that is an emergency situation our doctor decided quickly to transfer her to Riley to be seen by a GI team and a surgical team.

Now I don't know if any of you have ever ridden any distance at all in an ambulance, but I can tell you there is really no other mode of transportation I can compare it to. Never been in anything that rides that rough. Couldn't possibly be a healthy way to transport someone who is sick. Throws you around worse than any wooden roller coaster at Holiday World. Longest two and a half hours of my life! Not to mention my baby girl was strapped on a gurny fastened to the floor.

We were suppose to be a direct admission but we got hung up in the ER. Were there from 230 in the morning until 6 in the morning. It was such a long night. When they finally got us to a room we where so ready to collapse and sleep or at least stop to cry but unfortunately that was not an option.

The doctors here read the CT scan and determined it was a mis-read. No free air, no infection and no perforation. At first, in our exhausted state, we were furious. Thought we had been put through that ordeal for nothing... But I am telling you, God is so in control it's crazy. Didnt take long for us to realize that it was no coincidence there was a mis-read. Had there not been, we would not have been sent to Riley when we were and it scares me to even think what might have happened otherwise.

Alot has happened between then and now but here is the just of it....

She is stable. Alternating tylenol with coedine and motrin every four hours. Takes the fever to around 100 for about 3 hrs before it spikes back up. Last night her temp was 104.7. That was the highest one so far. The coedine is controlling her belly pain pretty well.

Her labs are still all funky. Her pt/inr is high. (that is blood clotting time for you non medical people) Starting her on Vitamin K for that. Her muscle enzymes are highly elevated. Her sed rate is in the high 50's (indicates inflammation) Her white count is 24,000. (indicates infection) Liver function is off. And a bunch of other obscure ones are either too high or too low. Thankfully all four blood cultures have been negative.

She still has the ongoing mid abdominal pain. Always present but definately worse when the fever spikes. Despite that, the GI team thinks this is not a GI issue and that the pain is associated with the Eosinophillic Esophagits that was diagnosed with biopsies she had during an EGD. (scope down the throat) It's basically eczema of the esophagus. Her food allergies are now attacking her GI tract in the same way they have attacked her skin her whole life.

Added to the list this morning was the diagnosis of Adenovirus. So the infectious disease team has been added to the list of docs that are seeing her. This virus attacks respiratory linings, GI linings, causes fever, diarrhea (which she now has) vomiting (which she has done sporadically last few days) conjuctivis (her eyes are starting to get red) and several other things. It gets dangerous if it causes pneumonia so they are watching closely for that but so far her lungs have been clear on xray. Infection Control docs said there are 50 different types of the virus ranging from mild to severe. If she has a severe type it could possibly be the source we have been looking for. Waiting on more tests results to know for sure. That would be amazing.

She is holding up pretty well. As tiny as she is...she is one of the strongest people I know. Bless her little heart. Needle sticks have become a problem though. As soon as someone other than her nurse comes in the door she starts to go into hysterics. Took four to hold her down last night. No sticks today though. More tomorrow morning :( Still entertaining the thought of autoimmune diseases and have yet to really address the esophagus issue. But praise the lord... we have moved beyond the possiblity of anything potentially life threatening.

Thats where we stand at this point. I have to say, this place is as amazing as I have always heard it was. They are all over it. We have had a steady stream of doctors from all specialties in all day long everyday. Everytime the main one comes in he looks me in the eye and assure me that they will figure it out. Right now I am very thankful for being a nurse and for being able to comprehend and sort through the unbelievable amount of everchanging info that is being thrown at us at any given moment. I feel for all the parents here with no medical background. Must be so overwhelming. I can't even imagine.

I am completely blown away at the outpouring of love and support we have received and the amount of prayer we all have been covered with. We feel each and every one and I have no doubt it has given us the strength to endure these last four days and has helped all the doctors to sort through everything and start piecing it together quickly. Please keep praying... for Ava's ability to endure, for clarity for the doctors, for Aaron and I to be able to hold up, and for the boys at home who miss us and need us back there. <3

Better late than never...

February 4th...which seems like only yesterday even though it was over two weeks ago...Austin turned 16...the big 1-6...SIXTEEN. I say it over and over to myself but it still doesn't seem possible. I don't know where the time goes. I only know that the older I get the faster it goes by.

I had to work 12 hours on his actual birthday so we celebrated the day before and the day after. As usual, per Austin's style, it was a low key event. Date with the gf and a dinner with all his favorites. Doesn't take much to make that boy happy.

I think this is probably the third or fourth birthday post I have written for him since I started blogging a few years ago. Each time I sit down to write it my mind goes back to that place in time. Austin was...well let's just call it like it is... a surprise. :) I remember vividly strapping Ethan into his carseat the day before his first birthday and driving to walmart in the rain. I made just one purchase that day. A pregnancy test.

All the way home I wondered what if... I had one in diapers, how could I handle another? How would Ethan react to no longer being the baby and the center of our world? We were at a big transition point in our lives. Building a house, new jobs, moving, etc... How could another child possibly enter the picture at this point?

I remember placing that test on the bathroom sink and walking to the kitchen to set the timer. I held Ethan on my hip and paced back and forth alone through the house. Half hoping, half dreading. It was possibly the longest three minutes of my life.

Before I even got all the way through the bathroom door I could see the big red plus sign. I fell to my knees and held on to Ethan and cried tears of joy. Even in the uncertainty of the times I wanted him at that moment more than I could have ever imagined.

Seven months later and 5 weeks ahead of schedule, I remember the 12 below zero weather, the ridiculously long labor, and the words "he's all yours," that the doctor said to me as she placed him in my arms for the first time.

That tiny little 7 pound orange-headed surprise is now an almost 6 foot orange-headed wonder. He amazes me with his many talents, his awesome sense of humor, his sensitivity, his empathy, his intellegence, and his pure-heartedness. He has grown into a person of great faith and conviction and I love that about him.

When I finally did get home from work on his actual birthday, we all watched videos of his first couple of years. He and Ethan laughed and laughed at the way they interacted with eachother. It made me so thankful to see that the bond they have shared from the day Austin came home has grown that much stronger over the years. They truly love, take care of and watch out for eachother. What more could a mother ask for.

God knows what He is doing. Our "surprise" was all part of His perfect plan. Happy 16th Bub. You are one of a kind and I love you. :)

Moments like these...

Been a long time since I sat down to post. Busy busy as usual. Holidays a blur. January almost over. Gotta soak it all in more. Enjoy the song and pics.

Finding Himself at 50...

B. Kent Burns, aka my big brother, woke up to find himself at 50 today. Over the course of the past week I have found myself really thinking about it. I have spent a couple of late nights going down memory lane. Looking at old pictures of the two of us. It just seems a bit unreal to me.

I realized that out of those 50 years, we only actually lived together for 13. He was 5 when I was born and went away to college at IU when he was 18. Thirteen years barely seems like a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. In fact, we built the house I live in now 16 years ago this month. So I have lived here longer than I ever lived with my brother. Somehow though, it feels like we spent a lifetime together in that house on the hill in the woods. And some of the greatest memories I have come from that short period in time.

We had the typical brother/sister love/hate relationship in the early years. And to this day we rarely speak without calling eachother "queer" or "maggot." But to us, those are the terms of highest endearment. There has never been a single day of my life that I have not looked up to, respected, been proud of and loved him beyond measure. He always has been and always will be my hero.

Happy Birthday Queer <3

Christmas morning in Loogootee

Our house in the woods

With our new baby brother

Christmas at Mom's about 9 years ago

Florida 2011

50th Bday Party

Moments....

You know when you have those moments of clarity in the middle of an event, or a situation, or a conversation when you stop a minute and you know you will remember that moment forever. When the rest of the world goes still and the reality of that instant is being ingrained in your soul for all time. I had a couple of those yesterday.

I had an appt. with my surgeon yesterday morning to schedule my gallbladder surgery. Isn't that lovely. Three surgeries in one year. I asked him to take my appendix as well so there won't be anything left to remove... unfortunately I couldn't get him to go for that. :) Any way, every time I go to the Medical Arts Bldg. in Jasper I pass the big cemetery...it's the cemetery the hospital uses for the babies that die in early pregnancy. I have had a baby in that cemetery for 9 years now... but I have never visited. I must've driven by hundreds of times over the years and there hasn't been a single time I didn't think of the baby there. But I have never been able to turn into that drive. Until yesterday.

I had been told where the stone was. You can sort of see it from the road. As I got closer I could see all the little angels lined up around it. Angels put there by other moms like me. The front of the stone says simply "In memory of the unborn children." The back comes from Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." I sat in the van. I wanted to get out but I didn't. The sun was streaming down and I thought about the excitement I felt when I learned I was pregnant, and the elation I felt when I heard the heartbeat for the first time, and the devastation I experienced when that flicker was no longer on the screen. I stared at the little porcelain angels and read the verse over and over. And through the tears I had a moment of great peace. One of those moments when you just know God is all over it. I felt healing in that moment. It was a long time coming.

Then last night around 10:30 I was in the kitchen. Still thinking of the events of the morning. I had all 4 of the kids school pictures lined up on the counter. I was admiring them and feeling thankful for having four beautiful, healthy children when Ethan walked into the room. I told him again what a great picture he had taken with that famous Ethan smile, and then without even realizing what I was saying I said... "Ethan, the next time you get your picture taken it will be for Senior pictures." As soon as the words left my mouth my chin hit the floor and... so did his. We stood there, alone in the kitchen, mouths wide open, with the same look of disbelief and shock on both our faces. Right now it seems like we stared at each other forever as we both tried to get our heads around that. Then he smiled and put his arms around me and his chin on the top of my head. He hugged me tight and said chuckling "mom, it's ok." We laughed it off and he headed off to bed and I stood there and knew I would never forget that moment.

There is a new song by Selah that I absolutely love. I can't find it on playlist yet, but I will end this blog with my favorite part because it is so fitting in my life... "It makes me smile, but it makes me sad. To know I can't get these moments back. So I'm down on my knees. Help me soak it all in. I want all of this life, that you let me live. And when time flies by, oh remind me to breathe. Cause my heaven on earth, are moments like these."

Finding Myself at...

44... yep i said 44. What a crazy number. I remember when I was little and my grandparents were in there upper 40's and early 50's. They were ancient. I don't feel ancient. I just feel tired. Lol

Everytime I look in the mirror, all these lines in my face are definately getting clearer. (wait...isn't that a song?:) I swear I've aged 5 years in the last 2, but such is life. At times it is a difficult thing to deal with. The body may age, but the mind really doesn't. Sure you get wiser with each passing year, and you have more life lessons under your belt, but at the core of it all I don't think the mind is at the same point in time as the chronological number. Mentally I still feel 17.

So the vanity side of me took a moment of self-pity for moving closer to the back side of 40 and to mourn the passing of another year, but then I reminded myself of people I know who never had the chance to make it to their 40's. And those I know in their 40's who are dying of cancer. And the 30 year old in my nursing home who has been there for ten years due to a motorcycle accident and is dependent on someone else for his every need. Then 44 sounds pretty darn good. In fact it sounds amazing. There but for the grace of God go I.

I don't know what 44 will bring for me. God willing I will be posting and invariably whining a year from now about turning 45. I've said it before but I will say it again... I don't know what the future holds...but I know who holds the future. And for that I am thankful.

Happy 8th Jaden!

Our last baby boy Jaden...aka J...aka JP...aka Jade...aka Shade...aka Shady...aka Shady Park...aka Jbone...turned 8 last week. Lol :) So we partied Thursday with the family, Friday with all the friends, and Saturday with the extended family. I think he would agree it was a successful birthday.

Ethan was 9 and Austin was 7 when Jaden was born. He was the only one of the four that was born during the day. Labor Day actually fell on the day he was born that year so most of the family was in Jasper for the weekend and were able to be there when he arrived. One of my most vivid and favorite memories of all time was when Ethan and Austin walked into the room and looked at him for the first time. Still chokes me up when I think about it.

I miscarried at 10 weeks a couple of months before I got pregnant with Jaden...so when his birthday rolls around I always think about that baby too. I watched that little one slowly slipping away over the course of three weeks as a once strong heartbeat began to weaken with the passing days until it finally was there no more. Even though I don't understand, I take comfort in a loving God who knows what He is doing. And I am so thankful that even though He had to take one baby away for whatever reason, He gave me another to love.... And love him I do. He is an amazing child.

Happy 8th big boy :)

Speechless

That's how I find myself this morning. Speechless over the fact that summer is over and all my babies are gone and I am sitting here and there is no one around that needs me. It's surreal and will take some getting used to. I had one year between when Austin started kindergarten and when Jaden was born...other than that I have had at least one baby at my feet every minute for the last 17.2 years. No wonder I am pacing around in circles. I'm lost.

I didn't realize till today that I haven't posted since June. July and August are kind of a blur. As usual the summer breezed by before I realized what was happening. Ethan worked a 40 hour week all vacation long. It was pretty hard labor and it was a pretty hot summer so he realized right away the true value of a college education. Nothing like a good dose of the real world to put things in perspective.

Austin did his thing all summer. Get up, text the gf, play his guitar for awhile, eat, talk to the gf, watch some tv, text gf, more guitar, eat some more, etc... Then all in one week he went on his first date, got his permit, started drivers ed, and became my chauffer. That week left my head spinning. Not quite sure I have recovered yet to be honest.

Jaden and Ava had a great summer. Spent hour upon hour in the pool. Spent some time with all the grandparents. Drove their momma crazy. All the usual stuff.

Then last friday the dreaded day arrived. Ethan drove himself and some friends to start their Junior year. He was actually excited to be going back. Austin drove me and the babies for the start of his Freshman year. Wow. That was just weird. He parked in front of the high school and I got out of the passenger side to head back over to the driver side...we high-fived as we passed eachother and I don't think I have ever seen him smile that big. I opened the door to get back in the van and looked up and there was my 6'2" boy looking down at me as he walked by. Cue the water works.

I have done the walk of shame out of the elementary to the playground pretty much every year for the last 11. Trying to hold the big ugly cry in at least till I got in the car. This was the first time I was already choking it down before I even got to the door. Ava and I walked Jaden to his room in second grade. He's a pro at this by now so I didnt hang around long. Kissed his forehead and told him to have a good day. He said "don't worry mom." My kids know me well.

And then it was time. My very last "first first day" of kindergarten. We walked in and the first thing I noticed was that pretty much every kid towered above my tiny girl. The second thing I realized was that she did not recognize a single face. Not one. I knew the parents of maybe four of the kids in there. I took her and introduced her to a little girl that will be riding her bus and suggested they play together at recess. Then we found her desk and she sat down and I squatted beside her, arms around her, and there I froze. We sat and watched the other kids arrive in silence. Her little hands in mine sqeezing tightly. I didnt see how there was any way on this earth that I was going to be able to get up and leave her there. I whispered in her ear several times "are you ok" she said she was. I was so not.

I told the teacher about all her medical issues and her epi pen and inhaler and spacer and benedryl and as I rambled on I just kept thinking, I am not leaving her here...I can't possibly leave her here. But I did. I knealt down again and squeezed her and kissed her cheek about a hundred times and repeated over and over and over "you will be ok...you will be ok" but I'm not sure now if I was talking to her or me. As I walked out the door I turned and waited for her to look at me but she didnt. She looked straight ahead. And I came home to an empty and unbelievably quiet house. And that is where I sit today.

I couldn't ever begin to put into words the love I have for those kids. I am so in love with them that it causes me moments of unimaginable heartache and moments of joy I never knew possible. I sit here and wallow in self-pity for the times that have passed that won't return but I would not trade one single moment for anything in the world.

Here are some of my favorite pics from this summer :)

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Seventeen!

Yesterday my boy turned 17. Another hard one for me to wrap my head around. I traditionally tell him the story of his birth at bedtime on his birthday every year. Unfortunately last night we walked into his room to find the carpet soaking wet. So instead of story telling we were moving furniture and ripping up carpet. But that's ok... I will just tell it a day late. :)

We were living in the New Albany area because Aaron was working at UPS in Louisville. I had given up trying to get in and out of our waterbed a few months earlier, so we were sleeping in the spare bedroom. I spent the night sitting up in bed contracting every 10 minutes or so while watching OJ Simpsons now famous white bronco chase. When I think of my labor with Ethan... I always think of OJ.

We finally headed to the hospital about 5 a.m. We stopped at the McDonalds across the street first so Aaron could eat... while I contracted. However, Ethan was in no hurry and did not make his arrival until 6:16 that evening, after an extremely difficult forceps delivery. He weighed in at 8 lbs 3 oz. (same as his Uncle Kent) and had a head full of black hair. Not only was he our first baby, he was the biggest, outweighing both brothers and his sister by over a pound each, and also holds the record for most uncomfortable pregnancy, longest labor and most weight gained for me... I was HUGE!

The last seventeen years now seem like a blur, although some things seem like they happened only yesterday and are still vividly etched in my mind. His first steps, his seeing Austin for the first time, the first day of Kindergarten... etc. My tiny baby now stands at 6'2". I get whiplash trying to look up at him.

I had so many hopes and dreams for him the day he was born, so far they have all come true. He is such a country boy, so handsome, so smart, such a great person, always has a smile on his face, sensitive, considerate, caring, very aware of the feelings of others, and just a joy to be around.





Happy Birthday Ethan Michael!

Neverending story...

Tuesday we made the trip to Indy for more appointments. First we saw Ethan's hip doctor. The xrays showed everything looked great. No new bone growth. Doc said his strength and flexibility has greatly improved since his last visit. Due to his lower back deformity he will always be at risk for another hamstring injury so he needs to spend a lot of time trying to lengthen those muscles as much as possible. Other than that the nerve seems healed and he has been cleared. We can cross that one off the list.

Then it was on to the back doctor. Unfortunately that appt. did not go quite as well. We learned that the L4 vertebral fracture had not healed at all in the last six months and apparently won't without a bone graft...which may or may not even work. We want to avoid that at all costs so we all decided to just leave it as it is. Then we learned that L5 now has multiple stress fractures and he has three bulging discs. His spine in that area is starting to bow outward instead of curve inward. Explains all the increased pain. The reason behind all of these injuries boil down to a combination of two things... he has Scheuermann's disease, which is a juvenille degenerative disc disease, and he has a rare deformity of his 5th lumbar vertebrae. It is fused to his sacrum. He has no movement at all on one side of the joint and very limited movement on the other side. This causes a lot of pressure on his lower back and also causes his hamstrings to be short and tight...so the original avulsion fracture of his hamstring and pelvis was related after all.

So, now what to do. There is no quick fix. They were very clear in telling us this is a lifelong issue he will have to deal with. The extreme end of the treatment options would be to go in and fuse L3 L4 and L5 together which would give him very limited movement and end any sports he might want to be involved in pretty much forever. Because of his age we don't want any part of that until it becomes a necessity...which down the road it most likely will. There are other surgical options in between but for now we decided to do the least invasive and most conservative which would be to brace him. He will wear a custom made brace for the next 12 weeks in hopes that some of the new fractures in L5 will heal and the inflammation will calm down. If it works, he will move back into more therapy to focus on core strengthening and hopefully be able to function somewhat normally. If it doesn't work.... honestly I'm not even going there yet. We will just be praying very hard that it works.

He is taking it ok. He just says he is frustrated, and who wouldn't be. Poor kid has had almost 3 years of pain now, had an extremely invasive hip surgery that has left him with severe numbness in and around the 10" incision site, and for the last 6months has been very restricted on what he can and can't do. It's nothing an almost 17 year old should have to be dealing with that's for sure. But like I have said many times, he is an exceptional person and his faith is strong. We will just continue to take it one day at a time.

When life hands you lemons.....

I can tell you I have enough lemonade to last a lifetime. :) To say that we have had one crazy happening after another would be the understatement of the year. So much has happened in the last couple months I can't even remember it all....and if I did try to recount it all here no one would believe it anyway.

As I type this I am in bed recovering from a lovely hysterectomy. I got really sick at the end of january... had a blood transfusion, several iron infusions, three surgical procedures and now this, which I am hoping will put an end to all the madness. A couple of people have asked me if I feel "different" or "sad" or if I have an "empty" feeling now that my uterus is no longer. Even though this baby factory unofficially closed its doors five years ago...it's still a little bittersweet when the final shutdown comes. I find it a cruel twist of fate that they put recovering hysterectomy patients right across the hall from the baby nursery so you can lay there and hear the babies crying while you mourn the passing of your childbearing years. Oh well, such is life.

Before my surgery I managed to get Ethan to Indy for his back follow up. His lower back fracture has shown no sign of healing in the last six months and he has a new host of issues on his latest MRI, spondylolithesis being the most pressing, so that will be the next mountain to climb. The specialist will present us with our options for treatment on the 17th and has assured us we won't like any of them.

Between mine and Ethan's issues, Jaden and Ava both had stints with pneumonia. Ava's included her usual hospital stay. Prom came and went...as did Easter. Thank goodness and knock on wood the only thing Austin has in the works is braces. So far the first quarter of 2011 has been a big ol out of control blur. I'm hoping these last three weeks of school will go by peacefully and the Jones family will catch a much needed break. Here are a couple of recent pics...

Ethan and Victoria before the Shoals Prom

Ethan and Morgan (aka The girlfriend:) before Loogootee prom

Easter Sunday

View from my bed while recovering

5 years ago...

Five years ago this week I was given something I never thought I would have....a daughter. She was and still is a beauty.



I had heard "It's a Boy!" so many times, it took awhile for the whole girl thing to sink in. By that time I had boys all figured out. Boys are easy. So how much trouble could a precious tiny baby girl be... HA!

My illusions of what my little girl would be like didn't last long. At first it was great...pink frilly outfits and girly girl toys and even the hair bands I swore I would never put on my child's head. But as she developed her own little "personality" (which in her case is a BIG personality) she began to make her preferrences known.

So... I don't have a little girl who likes to wear dresses... she wears jeans.
I don't have a daughter who likes pretty little tops... she wears t-shirts.
Baby dolls... not so much. Baseballs and soccerballs...much better.
Pony tails or hair bows....Not a chance.
Furry little mittens.... Not practical. Work gloves... Now you're talking
A pink fairy princess bike won't do. An old brown hand me down boys bike rides much better.
Playing house...uh...No. Hauling wood... Heck Yes! (at least her john deere wheelbarrow is pink)

She is 32 pounds of pure opinion. She has her own mind and when it's made up ain't nobody gonna change it. She is stronger than all her brother's put together. If they can dish it out she can take it...and then some. She rules the roost. She's got us right where she wants us. She is the Queen.

Even though she isn't exactly the type of girl I envisioned, and despite all her bull headedness, she can be the sweetest thing I've ever seen or imagined. She has her sugar and spice moments....and they are THE best.

She wanted to make her own cake...


Blowing out the candles...


Her and her boys...


Her and her girls...


HAPPY 5TH BIRTHDAY AVA!

Happy 15th Austin

We celebrated Austin's 15th birthday last week in a typical low key Austin kinda way. His favorite foods...a dairy queen ice cream cake...and a trip to Guitar Center. He is a low maintenance kid and that's really all it takes to make him happy. He put his birthday money to great use and came back from his home away from home with a new acoustic guitar. His first acoustic. I could sit and listen to him play for hours. He does an amazing rendition of the Led Zeppelin song you are listening to right now on my playlist. SO much talent. SO clueless as to where it comes from. Lol

I find it very hard to believe that he could possibly be 15. He has grown into such an intellegent, genuine, caring, considerate, honest, sincere and trusting person with one of the best senses of humor ever. I could not possibly be any more proud of him than I am.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUB!!

Homecoming

Had to start with this picture. Born one month and one day apart...these two have been friends literally since birth. (I think this was their first argument. She still looks at him like this when he whines :)

They were sooooo cute then....



....and just look at them now <3


*(insert sobbing here... omg where does the time go)*

And even though the night didn't turn out exactly as we had hoped, we are soooo proud of them both.

The announcement


The crowning...(and a quick smooch I didn't catch on camera. lol)




Waiting for pictures



2011 Homecoming Court